


Happiness Is

by lindenshield



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual JJ, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Humor, M/M, Multi, No cheating, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory Negotiations, adhd JJ, am i supposed to tag swearing & some drinking, listen i love JJ a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-09-20 17:49:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9503090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindenshield/pseuds/lindenshield
Summary: JJ's life is studying, family and photoshoots. After what was supposed to be a one-night stand, it's studying, family, photoshoots - and pizza, parties, talking to a cute girl next to him in class, going on dates with said girl, and most importantly, friends. Then thesupposed to bebecomes a problem.orJean-Jacques Leroy on his way to understand that maybe, happiness can be more than just The One.





	1. notes on your nightstand

**Author's Note:**

> College AU - some characters have been aged up a few years. JJ is 21, will mention others later.

When JJ wakes up on a Saturday morning, he knows there must be someone else in his bed. He reaches out, tries to find their warmth – his skin has never felt this touched, never has a memory of pleasure soothed a throbbing headache like this.

 

His hands find nothing and he opens his eyes. It is still dark, sunlight only peeking out under the closed curtains. There is no other body in his bed, and judging by the silence, not anywhere else in the apartment either. He turns on his bedside lamp and barely manages to keep his eyes open as the light hits them. His whole body aches, but that is nothing compared to the hammer inside his skull. He squints at the nightstand trying to find the glass of water he always leaves there. There is a glass, but it’s a different one, not the one he always uses. Next to it is a painkiller – and a piece of paper. He quickly sits up, a decision he immediately regrets, and grabs the note.

 

It only has a phone number, underneath “call me xo” on loose cursive. No name. JJ lies back down and closes his eyes. His often cacophonic mind feels blank, like there’s only headache bouncing inside his skull, no thoughts at all. He tries to focus on the rest of his body, on the ghosts of fingertips he still feels lingering on his skin, forces himself to remember to whom they belonged.

He remembers his fingers tangled in hair. Short hair. He remembers his hands in the hair, grabbing it, pulling – his hands in the hair but down, down, down.

 

His eyes flash open. That’s unusual. He has never asked a girl to go down on him and so far no one (as he likes to think; neither of the two would be reality) has suggested it.

 

Judging by the headache and loss of memory he has been completely wasted last night. It’s not the first time, he has woken up with vague memories and no idea of what happened before, but this time he _wants_ to remember. He glances at the floor and is relieved to see his phone laying there. He plugs it in and waits for it to restart, anxiously tapping the screen. He goes straight to the photos once it starts functioning again. There are a few ones he does not remember taking, but they are too dark and blurry to enlighten his memories of the night before.

 

Blonde hair, the memory strikes him. He massages his temples and tries to think – he should remember someone with blonde hair attractive enough to spark his interest. His usual type is dark hair and light laughter, like the girl who sat next to him on class last week – the girl with pink lipstick and blue nail polish, and handwriting neat enough for him to stare at it for the whole class, nothing like the scribble on the note….

 

Right. _Remember._ Short, blond hair. Hands traveling on his skin. Kissing – messy kisses, hungry lips on his, under the party lights, in the cab, in his home, low whispers he could feel all the way down in his toes.

 

“I’m glad I didn’t shave today”, an amused voice after he shivers when feeling the scratching on his neck, a sloppy kiss on his ear, his hands in the hair –

 

Undercut.

 

JJ throws his arm on his eyes and groans. Of course it had to be a fucking undercut.

 

Short, blonde hair. A few days’ stubble. The greenest eyes he has ever seen.

 

“Christophe”, the name escapes his lips before reaching his consciousness. It feels good on his tongue, tastes like red wine and expensive cheese and something unfamiliar yet oddly pleasing.

“Chris”, he whispers again and feels like he can see the green bedroom eyes right in front of him, finally remembering.

 

_“Call me king”, he breathed towards the roof, chin up to let the soft skin of his neck to be kissed, licked, marked._

_“And what does my king command?” Chris murmured voice so low it made his skin tingle._

_“Come home with me”, he whispered. Suddenly there was a hand between his thighs, the feeling enough to make his breath uneven._

_“What did you say?” Chris asked even lower in a teasing tone, slowly caressing him through his jeans._

_“Fuck me”, he tries to command, but the words come out as a plea._

 

JJ groans as the memories start appearing from the back of his mind. He’s not that surprised he fucked a guy or got fucked by a guy or, based on how his body feels, even both – that was kind of his goal for the night. He is surprised that the guy in question happened to be Christophe Giacometti.

 

Alright, he’s not that surprised – it’s not like he hasn’t noticed Chris before, his green eyes and athletic body and _that ass_. JJ also knows that his own blue eyes, tan skin and most charming smile are _very_ hard to say no to.

 

He is a bit scared that it was Chris, though.

 

He has no idea what to do. Act like nothing happened, pass Chris on the campus with a silent nod? Find him at the next party to experience the best sex in his life again? Flee the country and never tell anyone about this, ever?

 

His eyes catch the glass of water and the painkiller on the table. The sight makes him smile softly. He squeezes his phone in his hand and grabs the note with another.

 

_Call me._

 

He has no idea what to do, and as usually in those situations he ends up doing something very possibly stupid before he even has a change to stop himself. He dials the number.

 

It only takes a few rings for Chris to answer.

“It’s Chris, I’m on the ice, so unless it’s an emergency or you’re my last night’s fuck please call me later”, the low voice says in a practised manner, like this is how he always answers his phone.

“Eh. It’s JJ.”

“Lovely! What’s up? Killer headache?”

“Yeah.”

“Thought so. Red wine does that. Thank god I only drank champagne.”

“Right.” It feels like the section of his brain supposed to form sentences has completely shut down.

“So, is there a reason you called other than to just hear my voice?”

Shit.

“Not really”, he mumbles.

“Alright. Wanna get some pizza when I end my practise? In an hour or so?”

“Sure”, he says blankly before forcing himself to get it together. “The place near campus? My treat.”

“Sounds cool. See you there!” Chris chirps and hangs up.

 

JJ bolts out of bed and looks around wildly. Pizza. A date? Hanging out? What is he supposed to wear? Something from his own clothing line, obviously, but what?

 

He walks into the bathroom and makes finger guns to his reflection. His hair is mess and his neck bruised, but he is rather pleased. He remembers his pep talk the night before, staring into his own eyes right before leaving for the party, whispering _I am gorgeous and I’m going to bang a guy tonight._

 

Success, he thinks and blows a kiss towards the mirror before getting into the shower. He ends up picking a red sweater from his clothing line and regular jeans. Before leaving he takes a deep breath to calm himself a bit – he keeps doing everything so much faster than needed and his heart is racing. He brings his hands in front of him, makes two J’s with his fingers and stares into the mirror next to the door.

 

 _It’s JJ style_ , he thinks and gets out.

 

* * *

 

 

“So”, Chris says holding a slice of pizza and smiling way too sweetly, “you have a girlfriend?”

JJ stares at him with a frown before answering. “Uh, no.”

“I’m surprised! On the phone you sounded like you were going to do the whole ‘I’m sorry, I should’ve told you, this was just an experiment, I’m straight, my girlfriend and I are going through a hard phase and wanted to see if sex with other people would remind us of how much we love –’”

“That your type?” JJ interrupts with a challenge in his voice, hiding under faked confidence like always when he’s not sure what to say.

“Oh, no. I prefer honest people. They don’t cry as much.”

“That’s a bit rough.”

“I know. You seemed to like it rough.” Chris winks and JJ stuffs pizza into his mouth to have a reason not to answer. This is exactly the reason he was scared.

“Not that I remember everything”, Chris admits after a short silence. “I was pretty wasted. I do remember enjoying it, no worries.” JJ feels like there is something hidden in those eyes, a challenge, a pick up line, a suggestion. He doesn’t think.

“I could use a reminder, too”, he says. Chris grins.

 

They do finish the pizza, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the prologue, actual chapters will be longer. We'll meet Isabella in the next one, yay!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as [queen-thirrin](http://queen-thirrin.tumblr.com/), feel free to talk to me about this precious boy.


	2. Friends and Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First times: Talking to Isabella. Meeting some friends of Chris.  
> Not first times: Missing everything the professor says. Insecurity after leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JJ is totally a person who adds emojis to every name in his contact list ~~and changes them when his feelings about the person change.~~
> 
> Everything about college/university is based on the uni I go to. Which is not in Canada. I apologize for any inaccuracies.
> 
> **Edit** Apparently ao3 can't handle emojis (I'm disappointed). That was also the reason why only like 1/4th of this chapter was posted yesterday. Now the whole chapter should be up but, sadly, with no emojis. Chris was supposed to have sparkles and a bottle of champagne on JJ's phone and JJ a crown on Chris' phone.

JJ whistles as he walks towards the campus on Monday. It’s a beautiful if a bit crispy morning – trees are already turning to sunset colours and there’s a hint of winter in the wind. His cheeks are still red from his morning jog, even after showering. He’s early to class, which is unusual; he does wake up early quite often, but ends up spending too much time in front of the mirror or trying to gather everything he needs during the day and has to run. Now he has plenty of time to get a coffee (black, one sugar) and sit in the back, third seat from the wall. It’s five minutes until the beginning when someone sits next to him.

“Hi.”

He takes his earbud off and notices it’s the girl from last week – the girl with sky blue eyes, raven black hair, cherry red lips and a bright smile. She looks like Snow White, he thinks and hopes he’s not blushing as much as he feels like.

“Hi”, he says and tries to put on his most charming grin. The girl smiles and offers her hand.

“I’m Isabella Yang”, she introduces herself.

“Jean-Jacques Leroy. Call me JJ.”

“That’s French, right?” Isabella asks – curious or just friendly, JJ can’t be sure.

“Yeah, I’m from Montreal”, he says, emphasizing his French accent on the town name. Isabella smiles warmly and turns to get her notebook from her back. She opens it to reveal nicely written, detailed notes from the last lecture. JJ tries to hide his few lines of scribbles.

“Are you a sophomore?” Isabella asks.

“I am”, JJ answers quickly, excited to get to talk to her more. “What about you?”

“Sophomore too.”

“I don’t remember seeing you last year”, JJ says – he’s sure he’d remember someone like her.

“I took a gap year”, she explains. “I started two years ago.”

The professor starts talking then, so JJ just smiles for an answer and tries to pay attention to his notes. Isabella’s handwriting is nice to look at – she writes smoothly, keeps clear marginal, makes bullet points and seems to be able to organise what she hears as she listens. Her writing reminds him of the way Chris talks – thoughts delivered in a witty, clever way that still seems so effortless. No thinking breaks or stuttering, every word right where it belongs.

Chris had joked and chatted so easily on Saturday evening, his voice giving JJ the confidence alcohol had the night before. Even with a sober memory, being with Chris still feels like a kind of a dream – a kind of he never dared to dream. The clearest part is those few minutes he spent lying down next to Chris who had already fallen asleep, skin tingling and eyes wide open, knowing he should leave but wanting to memorize every touch, every mark on his skin. Part of him wants them to never fade, but another part is worried about the photoshoot scheduled for the next week. He wonders if Isabella has seen him on a commercial somewhere – he often sees people looking at him on campus with a knowing look in their eyes, some like they despise him, some like they want to rip his shirt of.

There was nothing like that in the way Isabella looked at him, though – either she hasn’t seen the commercials or she doesn’t care. The next one should be pretty big, maybe she’ll see that one. JJ wonders if that will change the way she looked at him in the beginning of the lecture – if the friendliness will turn into disgust or lust. Anyway, he should check the busses to know how early he has to leave to get to the studio – he probably has to miss a part of this class. Maybe he could ask Isabella for her notes; that would be a proper reason to talk to her again. She looks like she is truly interested in what the professor is saying, which JJ both admires and envies. Would it be too approaching to ask for her number if he only used it to get the notes …

“We still have ten minutes but I won’t go to the next topic now, so you’re free to go”, the professor says. JJ presses his pencil to the notebook so hard it cracks – no notes this time either, it seems.

“It was nice meeting you”, Isabella says as she quickly packs her things. “See you next week!”

She is gone before JJ manages to say anything. He sighs deeply, at both his complete failure at focusing once again and at not knowing what to say. He decides to go to the library and try to figure out what it might be the professor said while his mind wandered.

 

After an hour of studying and browsing social media and trying to study again, his phone buzzes in his backpack where he tried to hide it. He slams the textbook closed and digs the phone out deciding to give up for a while.

[from Chris at 13:04 pm] Me & some my friends are getting pizza wanna join? Same place as saturday

He looks at the book and then back at his phone.

[from JJ at 13:05 pm] sure! ten minutes

He returns the book and leaves the library. The yard is full of students enjoying the last days of warm sun, chatting with books laid on the grass. JJ looks around as he passes them all and feels a sting of jealousy – he has never had a close group of friends to hang out with like that. Plenty of people he knows, sure, people he can party with and who greet him if they meet outside school, but never close friends.

* * *

 

When JJ gets to the pizzeria, Chris and his friends are already there. He recognises Viktor Nikiforov, because everyone does, and Sara Crispino, since they did a group project together last year. The others look familiar, too, but he is too bad with names to remember who exactly they are. There are butterflies in his stomach, but he takes a deep breath, whispers JJ style and marches in. “Hi!” he greets them from a few tables away and grins.

“I was wondering where you were”, Chris says and makes room on the bench. “I’m not sure if you know some of them already, but this is Viktor, Yuuri, Phichit, Sara and Mila. Those two are dating”, he points to the women who smile at each other, “those two are not”, he says and gets an eye roll from Viktor and Yuuri both. “Yet”, he whispers into JJ’s ear as he sits down next to Chris.

“Hi JJ”, Sara smiles, but her phone starts ringing. She digs it out from her pocket, checks the caller id and locks the screen. “Sorry”, she says, “it was my brother again.”

“Why don’t you want to talk to him?” JJ asks.

“She talked to him twenty minutes ago”, Mila explains. “He is coming here half past two. Mickey does not need to talk to her three times in an hour.”

“He’s a bit intense”, Sara laughs. “I love him, but still. Right. What were we talking about?”

“You were going to tell us about the secret plan”, Phichit says. Sara’s eyes brighten.

“Oh, yes! The plan! Mila, you tell them.”

“We are”, Mila begins and takes Sara’s hand, “moving in together next month!”

“Amazing!” Viktor says. Phichit starts applauding. Yuuri congratulates them with a big smile on his often nervous face. Chris whistles and asks when they will throw a party. JJ feels a bit overwhelmed with everything happening around him but claps his hands with Phichit.

“That’s the secret plan, actually”, Sara says when they quiet down a bit, “the party, I mean. We were thinking October, about a month from now.”

“Sounds good.”

“You are all welcome, of course”, Mila says. “You too, JJ.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

“We’ll have to ask the others of course, but does October 20th sound ok?”

Everyone nods and Mila starts typing on her phone.

“We were thinking you guys and obviously Mickey, then Emil, Leo, Guang-Hong, Georgi, Yurio and Otabek”, Sara lists while Mila texts them. JJ knows he has heard the names but has trouble connecting them to faces.

“You know them?” Chris asks quietly as Sara continues to talk about party plans. JJ shrugs.

“I think I do, not sure. I’m bad at remembering names.”

“You remembered mine just fine”, Chris winks. JJ’s cheeks feel warm.

“You were one person”, he whispers quickly. “With one name. Easy to connect.”

“Easy to scream”, Chris whispers, lips brushing JJ’s ear, but then leans to the other direction to grab another slice of pizza.

“Alright, I have to go” Mila says as she gets up. “I’ll text you the details about the party later. Wait, JJ, I don’t think I have your number?”

JJ grins and pulls his business card out of his bag – his agent had them made for promotion purposes, but gave him a few that accidentally had his personal number on them. He likes to give them out to his friends as a joke – it’s a posh picture of his face with his number and signature printed on it. Mila takes the card and frowns but puts it in her pocket.

“Uh. Thanks”, she says turns to give Sara a quick peck on the lips. “See you later, honey, bye guys!”

JJ stays quiet for a while as the others chat – apparently Phichit is thinking about getting a third hamster and wants help with picking a name for it. Viktor keeps suggesting names of characters from Russian classics, Sara and Chris vote for Disney princesses, Yuuri says he can’t give a name to a hamster he hasn’t met.

“You can always name it after me”, JJ says and grins, anxious to participate in the conversation and wanting to seem fun. Phichit is the only one who laughs.

“Don’t do that to a poor non-french hamster”, Chris says. “I’m still saying Aurora.”

“What if it is not golden? You can’t name a red hamster Aurora.”

“Ariel then”, Sara says. “Grey can be Kida. Black can be Jasmine. You have all the names you need there.”

Phichit looks like he might be convinced, Viktor keeps muttering Raskolnikov.

“Oh my God”, Chris suddenly says after unlocking his phone and bursts out laughing. “Mila says you gave her a picture of your face”, he explains looking at JJ.

“My face is great.”

“I completely agree, her reaction is just the funniest thing I’ve seen in a year. Don’t look all murderous, Sara, he wasn’t trying to hit on her”, Chris adds as he raises his glance from the phone screen. JJ can almost feel his heartrate go dangerously low under Sara’s icy eyes.

“Shit, I really wasn’t”, JJ says quickly. Sara still looks suspicious, so JJ grabs a bunch of cards from his bag.

“See, I’ll give you all one to prove it!” He throws the pictures on the table and sighs with relief when Sara picks one up and smiles.

“I believe you”, she says. “Stop laughing, Chris, this was sweet!”

 

“Why are you holding a pic of that guy?” an accented voice suddenly asks behind Sara. JJ recognises him as Sara’s brother, and although the two have similar eyes, after seeing Sara’s death glare, Mickey’s doesn’t even make him flinch.

“He’s trying to prove he wasn’t hitting on Mila”, Sara says with a laugh and pulls Mickey’s sleeve to get him to sit down.

“By hitting on you? Leave my sister alone!”

“No. No one’s hitting on anyone. Relax and get some pizza. Also, can someone hit Chris he’s still laughing.”

Viktor reaches out over the table and smacks Chris’ head lightly with an amused expression.

“Stop that”, JJ mutters under his breath.

“You gave her a picture of _your face_ ”, Chris answers and dramatically wipes his eyes, finally quitting laughing.

“You like my face.”

“I do like your face, I’m a bit jealous really, you didn’t give me a picture when you –”

“Ne faites pas ça”, JJ interrupts, wishing Chris would also say whatever inappropriate he’s planning in French.

“Pourquoi? Tu aimes ça”, Chris replies with a wink.

“Should we start talking in Italian or are you guys going to stop that?” Mickey asks a bit annoyed.

“And stop flirting with the new boy, Chris”, Viktor says, something in his smile making JJ a little uncomfortable.

“I brought the new boy, I have the right”, Chris says lightly. “The French was nothing important. I have to get going now, though, I have a paper due tomorrow. See you later, sweethearts!”

“Mila texted me about a party”, Mickey says when Chris has left, and the group returns to party-planning.

JJ listens for a while, trying to follow the quick conversation full of names he has no faces for. He manages to add a few comments and feels rather happy when he finally excuses himself and goes. They all seemed nice, he thinks as he walks home, and he’s quite flattered that Chris asked him to join them. Mila invited him to a party, Sara forgave him and chatted with him, Pichit laughed at his joke, Yuuri and Viktor – well, they looked friendly enough.

Yet… He bites his lip and starts walking in quicker pace to get rid of the anxiety that’s building up in his stomach. He’s not sure if the joke with the picture went that well, nor the thing he said about the hamster. Mila probably regrets inviting him to the party already. Mickey didn’t actually say anything to him after stopping to glare at him, which must mean he stayed angry. Viktor didn’t talk with him at all and only referred to him as the new boy. And he had said nothing to Isabella at the end of the lecture.

He starts running, bag hitting his back with loud thuds every step. Shut up, he wants to scream to the part of his mind that keeps saying they all hated him. He runs faster, thinks faster, breath becoming heavy, no one liked him and no one wants him at the party and Isabella thinks he’s stupid and Chris is never going to text him again, he…

He stops and closes his eyes, extends his arms. He forces his breathing to calm down, takes deep, long breaths. I am the king, he thinks, repeats it like mantra, I am the king and if they do not love me yet, they will. He brings his hands in front of his chest in a rapid movement and forms two J’s with his fingers, It’s JJ style coming out as only air. It still makes him feel a bit better, allows him to walk for the rest of the way, although his thoughts keep running.

* * *

 

When he gets home, he lies down on his bed and digs both his notes and his phone from his backpack. He takes a quick look at the few sentences he wrote in the library and then unlocks the phone. There’s a missed call from his father and three Instagram notifications - @phichit+chu started following you, @princessara started following you, @princessara liked your picture. His lips curve into a relieved smile, and he follows them both back as well as likes their newest pictures – a selfie with Yuuri and a picture of two keys respectively. He wants to text Chris and thank him for inviting him, for letting JJ get to know his friends, but doesn’t feel confident enough to do that no matter the Instagram follows.

He calls his father, puts the speaker on and rolls onto his stomach with the phone in front of his face.

“Tawnshi, Jean-Jacques”, Alain answers – his parents are the only ones who use his real name regularly.

“Hi, papa.”

“How are you doing? Did I call you on a lecture?”

“No, I was with some friends”, JJ explains, talks a bit of his studies and then settles down to listen to his father tell about their life back home – how his mother and little siblings are doing, Charlotte’s ballet practises and Felix’ never ending prayers for a pony, their neighbours coming for dinner later the same day, what the weather has been like, how they all have missed him. The familiar Métis French and his father’s restful voice softly take away the remains of his anxiety and leave him at peace once the call ends.

He lays on his bed with his eyes closed, listens to the sounds of the building and the cars passing by. After a few minutes he has to move already, and he sits up and checks his phone again, now with enough confidence to text Chris to thank him. To his surprise, there’s already a message waiting.

[from Chris at 16:37] I hate this paper I was gonna ask if you’d wanna meet later tonight but this thing is killing me it refuses to be written :(

[from JJ at 16:38] haha poor you :D maybe tomorrow? thanks for inviting me today btw, your friends were nice!

[from Chris at 16:39] Tomorrow sounds good assuming I’m still alive after this shitty essay, I’ll let you know!

He smiles at his phone and puts it down as he goes to get a soda from the fridge. He grabs a textbook from the floor and manages to read a whole chapter without looking at his phone once – he does get up and walk around the room a few times, though.

When he checks his phone, there’s another notification from Instagram - @isabellay started following you. He instantly follows her back and starts browsing her feed. She is so pretty, she has a dog, she reads a lot, she likes sunsets, she is so, so, so pretty, her captions are funny and honest and kind and he wants to be her friend so bad. He stops browsing only when he realises he went all the way to the last winter – there’s a picture celebrating Chinese New Year, table full of different types of foods, red envelopes next to two of the four plates. Before that – just one more – is a picture of people holding champagne glasses over a birthday cake. He wants to be her friend. He wants to be one of the people tagged in her next birthday picture. He has no idea how to talk to her.

[from JJ at 17:58] random question how do you become friends with people

[from Chris at 18:11] Pick them up from a party and have sex with them

JJ has no idea whether he wants to roll his eyes and just reply no because seriously, Chris, that is not good advice and he is not going to do that – or do a happy dance around his room, bury himself in blankets, and grin for the rest of eternity because he is sure this is Chris saying they are friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notice how mila & sara are in love and jj is poc  
>   
> Ne faites pas ça - That's enough  
> Pourquoi? Tu aimes ça - Why? You like it  
> Tawnshi - Hello


	3. Hockey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ice, hat tricks, jerseys. Accidental fanboying. Showering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are two reasons i came up with this chapter:  
> 1) i have watched ice hockey since i was nine years old  
> 2) i read all of [check please!](http://omgcheckplease.tumblr.com/) on one sitting  
> also, happy valentine's day, also known as Chris' birthday! ♥ ~~(what a coincidence they happen to be on the same day)~~ and um this got fluffy but i hope you'll like it!

The next afternoon JJ is sitting in a café on campus, trying if it’s easier to focus on reading there than at home. So far the answer is no – he keeps looking at people coming in, listening to the conversations around him, and trying to catch the coffee orders of strangers. He’s not using his phone as much as at home, but the pages are not turning any faster. His coffee cup is empty, and he’s wondering if he should get a refill or give up and go home when his phone rings – Chris is calling.

“Hi”, JJ answers with a voice he tries to make bored.

“Hi, are you somewhere near uni?”

“Yeah, in the café. Why?”

“Mind if I stop by?”

“No?”

“Great. See you!”

JJ looks at the phone screen a bit confused, but then shrugs and throws it into his bag. It only take a few minutes for Chris to arrive.

“Did you finish your essay?” JJ asks the first thing to come to his mind. Chris groans, but nods and sits down.

“I did. Half past two in the morning. What are you reading?”

“Just a textbook. No idea what I should learn from it.”

“So not that important?”

“I guess”, he sighs and closes the book.

“You’re free now, then?” Chris asks and leans back carelessly.

“Yeah.”

“Great. Have you ever played hockey?”

JJ blinks, quite shocked of the implication. “You can’t seriously ask me that. I was born and raised in Canada. Canada. The land of maple leaves and the best hockey players in the world, home to the greatest NHL teams, winner of thirteen ice hockey Olympic gold medals…”

“Got it”, Chris laughs. “I was only gonna ask if you’d wanna come to the rink and play a bit, but it sounds like you take your hockey too seriously to just fool around.”

“No no no, that sounds cool! I like playing with no pressure, I used to do that a lot with my siblings.”

“Nice. You have skates, then?”

“Yeah.”

“We could go grab them from your place and go play right now? I was supposed to practise but my couch got sick. Fever or something.”

JJ tries to remember how messy his apartment is – the usual chaos or truly chaotic chaos.

“Eh, sure”, he says anyway – hockey is more important than seeming organised.

* * *

 

 “Keys and wallet?” Chris reads the note on the inside of the door as JJ tries to locate his skates.

“I always forget those. Nowadays I also forget to read the note, I’ve had it for too long”, he explains carelessly. “Here they are!” he adds quickly, glad to have found the skates before Chris has time to wonder how bad his memory is.

“Great. Sharp and all?”

“Of course. Hey, do you have a jersey?” JJ asks and pulls a red one from his closet.

“I do, actually”, Chris says. “Swiss national team. Why?”

JJ proudly presents his Montreal Canadiens jersey and grins. “We could wear them?”

“Professional.”

“Indeed.”

Chris smirks. “Alright. I think mine’s somewhere at the rink already. You ready to go, then?”

JJ nods and gently folds the jersey into his backpack. He hangs the skates on his neck and goes to open the door.

“Got your keys?” Chris reminds him with half a smile. JJ swears and looks around. He dropped them somewhere near, they can’t be that lost in such short amount of time…

“Here”, Chris says, grabs the keys from the floor and throws them to JJ who carefully puts them into the pocket of his jacket.

“Thanks”, he mumbles and opens the door. There’s nothing embarrassing in this, he tries to tell himself as he walks down the stairs, everyone loses their keys sometimes. His cheeks still feel hot as they get outside.

“So, I’m guessing you’re a die-hard Canadiens fan?” Chris asks as they start walking towards the hall. JJ grins, glad to have something to talk about.

“That’s a bit of an underestimate, but yes. What’s your favorite team?”

“I don’t follow NHL that much, I just watch the Worlds and Olympics and pray for the Swiss team to make a miracle.”

“Any players, then?”

“Josi. Koivu. Jagr. Crosby. I guess.”

“Those are good. Béliveau.”

“Never heard.”

“How am I even talking to you. Jean Béliveau is one of the top NHL players of all the time. He won the Stanley Cup seventeen times with the Canadiens, ten of which as a player-“

“Right. When did he play?”

“From 1950 to 1971.”

“…you were not even born then.”

“I know”, JJ sighs sadly. “It’s a tragedy. He was my mama’s favorite when she was little, and my papie’s as well, they’ve told me all about him. I’ve watched records. I made a presentation about him in school. He was the second player ever to score a thousand points. No one has as many Stanley Cup wins as him. And he was the coolest person ever. You know he declined an offer to be a Senate appointment because he believes those should always be elected?”

“Well, now I do”, Chris says and smiles like he’s looking at a baby animal. JJ feels blood rushing to his face – he must have talked too much and too loud once again.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to go all…” he waves his arms in the air, too embarrassed to find words. Chris laughs and throws an arm around his shoulder.

“No need to be, that was adorable. And now I know what to say to get you going”, he says and winks.

“Shut up”, JJ laughs, but doesn’t show him away.

“Too close to the truth?” Chris teases and ruffles his hair before stepping just far enough that their hands are not brushing.

“Shut _up_ ”, JJ repeats, ignoring the glimpse of disappointment that runs through him with the loss of touch.

It’s not long until they get to the skating hall. The front door is locked, but Chris pulls a key out of his pocket and lets them in. He leads them through the hallways to a dressing room that says skaters M on its door.

“No one else should be coming here so make yourself at home”, Chris says, throws his bag on the bench, and goes to the lockers on the back wall. JJ puts his stuff on another bench on the opposite side of the room. He takes his jersey out of his backpack and gently places it next to him as he takes off his shoes and hoodie.

“Found it!” Chris shouts then, waving a red piece clothing in the air. “I got this in 2013 when Switzerland won silver in the Worlds”, he explains and smooths the jersey against his chest backside towards JJ so he can see the name on it.

“Roman Josi”, Chris says dramatically. “Selected as the Most Valuable Player of the tournament. All Switzerland loved him. I was in love with him.”

“Sure you’re over him yet?” JJ asks laughing.

“Not at all”, Chris says lightly and puts on the jersey. Red suits him, JJ notices, and Chris looks smug enough to know that. JJ decides to focus on the laces of his skates.

* * *

 

 “You play winger and I’ll defend?” Chris proposes when they’ve passed the puck for a while. “Change after three goals?”

“Sounds good”, JJ says.

“Less if it takes too long”, Chris adds and winks. JJ bites his lip to hide his smirk.

“Son of a bitch”, Chris groans as he gets checked for the first time.

“What the fuck”, he says when JJ scores a hat trick in less than 20 seconds of playtime.

* * *

 

 “You should’ve warned me”, Chris gasps as he sits on the locker room bench.

“I did warn you”, JJ says smugly and begins to untie his skates. “I am unstoppable.”

“This is the first time in my _life_ I’m too tired for even sex”, Chris whines and wipes his sweaty forehead. His hair is a mess after being stuck under the helmet, and his flushed face makes his eyes look even greener. JJ wants to touch him, try if his cheeks are as warm and soft as they look like. He wants to climb into his lap right there, laugh on his lips and fill his fists with the fabric of his jersey. He is staring, he knows, but can’t bring himself to stop.

“What’s up?” Chris asks when he notices, looking curious.

“Eh. The hockey look suits you”, JJ mumbles and pulls his jersey off over his head to hide his reddening face. When he gets his head out Chris is staring at him.

“So I say I’m for once too tired for sex and that’s when you decide to start complimenting me?” he asks and pouts dramatically. JJ laughs, a genuine, bright sound, and winks. He tries to think of a witty pick-up line, a suave way to say you’re hot, I’m hot, the sex was great let’s do it again, but nothing comes up.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks instead, arms still inside the jersey sleeves, voice a lot more sincere than he had planned.

“You really need to ask?”

“It’s called manners. And I am a gentleman”, he declares as he drops the jersey on the floor and steps out of his skates, confidence back after the moment of hesitation.

“Well then”, Chris says as JJ steps in front of him, “my answer would be yes.”

JJ bows down and then their lips are touching, brushing gently against each other – there’s no heat, there is warmth and enjoyment, Chris’ hands in his hair and his hands on Chris’ neck. He rests his knees against the edge of the bench on both sides of Chris, smiles into the slow, pleasant kiss. His whole body feels warm and content the way it only ever feels after exercise, and he tries to be aware of every inch of his skin as he leans into the touch, happiness bubbling inside his stomach.

“I think we should talk about this”, Chris murmurs into the kiss and gently pushes JJ little further.

“Yeah”, JJ sighs and leans forward again, brings their lips back together. Chris doesn’t seem to mind, there’s almost an echo of a silent laughter between them.

“Alright, we should”, JJ finally admits as he breaks the kiss, although he keeps gliding his fingers on the still moist skin of Chris’ neck. He doesn’t want to stop – he likes this, the intimacy that is not leading anywhere, the warmth and softness and quiet content in the brief touches of their lips. This is so different from the hungry, sloppy kisses of the weekend, those who screamed more and more and more; different, but still good.

“Alright”, Chris says, and there is something soft deep in his eyes.

“So.”

“So. The sex was nice.”

JJ laughs, at Chris or at himself for being surprised, he does not know. “It was”, he admits. “I wouldn’t mind there being more.”

“Me neither. I also like this friends thing, though.”

“Me too.”

“So.”

“So”, JJ repeats, not being able to hide his smile even while being nervous of the fate of this, whatever it might be.

“I was thinking”, Chris starts slowly, like he’s still trying to phrase what he wants to say, “if you'd like a friends with benefits kind of deal.”

“So more hockey and pizza but also more casual sex?” JJ checks.

“Exactly.” Chris winks. “I like casual.”

“So we could also see other people?” JJ asks, his mind briefly wandering to Monday morning, Isabella and her warm smile.

“That’s what I had in mind, if you’re okay with it.”

“Sounds good to me”, he grins, tries to sound cool instead of shouting perfect.

“Great. So, we have a deal?”

“Yeah”, JJ says and gets up, slides his hand down Chris’ arm and grabs his hand.

“Shower?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

* * *

 

“Just checking”, Chris says as he steps out of his jeans, “shower as in shower sex or just actually showering together?” JJ stops mid-movement and frowns – he had not actually thought of that, which, now as he’s standing there only in his underwear, feels incredibly stupid.

“Either’s fine?” he says after a few seconds.

“For me too.” Chris’ voice is calm; there are no hints for either option. JJ tries to think quickly.

“Do you have anything tomorrow morning?” he asks. Chris raises his eyebrows.

“Not until two.”

“We could just shower here and then go to your place?”

“I like your thinking. Let’s do that.”

JJ grins and gets out of his underwear. He goes to turn on the shower and stands under the stream. Chris follows quickly and tries the water temperature with his hand only to pull it back in a second.

“How can you even be there, that’s cold as hell”, he whines.

“This is the temperature I normally use?”

“Seriously? It’s freezing”, Chris says and waves his fingers under the water. “Please, please, please make it warmer.”

“This okay?”

“Still cold.”

“You want me to burn my skin of?” JJ asks, only half a joke.

“Alright, alright. I can do this. Tell my friends I love them if – when I freeze to death.” Chris steps closer, under the water that is not that cold, really, and JJ can feel him shivering on his own skin, but only rolls his eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic. How warm do you have it usually?”

“Something that counts as warm. Like this.” Chris turns the tap slowly and the water gets warmer. And warmer. And –

“Ouch!” JJ jumps out of the shower. “That burns!”

“No, that’s perfection, Mr Ice Queen. Alrigth. Compromise?”

“Too cold for you and too hot for me?”

“Exactly. No one’s happy.”

“Great. Wash my hair?”

Chris smiles and grabs a bottle of shampoo. “This is probably cheating”, he whispers as he starts massaging the shampoo into JJ’s hair, “but I’m pretty happy.”

JJ closes his eyes and breathes deeply. The air is warm and humid and smells like strawberries, there’s foam sliding down his back.

“So. Is there anyone you’d like to ask out?” Chris asks as he starts rinsing JJ’s hair.

“What?”

“Only that you asked about dating other people pretty quickly. And it’s fine, I’m just curious.”

JJ opens his eyes to see if Chris looks as honest as he sounds, and that seems to be the case from the quick glimpse he got before having to close his eyes again.

“Well”, he starts, still carefully. “I talked to this girl on my Monday morning class this week and she seems nice.”

“Knew it! Your turn”, Chris says and passes the shampoo bottle to JJ. “Tell me about her.”

“Not much to tell yet”, JJ says as he puts his hands in Chris’ hair. “She was friendly. Introduced herself to me. She has nice handwriting. And her smile was pretty.”

“Go for it. And scratch harder.”

“When I figure out how to”, JJ sighs and obeys. Chris’ hair seems to get curlier when it’s wet, and his fingers are already tangled into it.

“When did you realise that you were gay?” he asks suddenly, the thought popping into his mind from nowhere. Chris looks a bit surprised.

“I’m not sure, really”, he answers anyway, “pretty early. I never had a big wow I’m gay moment, it’s like I always knew. I wondered why I didn’t like girls a few times but didn’t feel like it was a big deal. When did you?”

“Well, I’m bi, so I never had to wonder why I didn’t like girls. But when I was about sixteen and dating my first girlfriend, one night it hit me that I had felt the same way about one of my friends, also a boy, as I did about her. The whole time.”

Chris bursts out laughing and wipes the shampoo out of his eyes to look at JJ.

“That’s adorable. And awkward, my God. What happened?”

“I never told either of them”, JJ answers sheepishly. “Stop staring at me, it was awful”, he adds and aims the water towards Chris’ head.

“Ow, shit, I’m sorry!” Chris whines and tries to protect his eyes from the shampoo. JJ turns the water colder, but Chris grabs the shower head and turns it towards the floor.

“I’m sorry”, he says again, this time looking straight into JJ’s eyes.

“Okay”, JJ says a bit reluctantly. It’s either explain more or get over it, and he doesn’t want to explain, not when it still hurts, not when he’s happy now where he is so – “Okay.”

“Good”, Chris says, voice both light and wary, a mixture JJ can’t understand, and turns the water back warmer. He rinses his hair and they wash themselves and each other with little talking and big smiles, taking turns in soft touches and fighting over space under the water.

“Was that friends or benefits?” JJ half jokes as he gets dressed again.

“No idea, but I’m so ready for the actual benefits. If you’re still up for going to my place?” Chris asks while trying to towel dry his hair.

“Of course I am. I just, eh…”

“What?” Chris has dropped the towel and his hair is a fluffy mess of sunny curls, and JJ wants nothing more than to pull them.

He also wants to know what he’s doing.

“I. If we could keep it, I don’t know, clear what is being friends and what is benefits”, he starts to ramble, “not that I didn’t like that, but I think I’d be more… comfortable if we kept them separated.”

“Alright.”

JJ blinks – he hadn’t thought this would work out so easily. “Really?”

“Of course. Benefits only when we both say so, other time just friends? And if you feel unsure, just tell me. And I’ll tell you. Deal?” Chris talks quickly, not showing any particular emotions, his tone relaxed and happy.

“Deal. Wow.”

“Great. So, benefits time now? No offence but that tramp stamp still makes me crazy.”

“Yesplease”, JJ breathes out, two words morphing into one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Comments are appreciated, as always. This one focused on Chris ~~bc it's his birthday~~ , next one will have a lot more Isabella!   
> you have to be at least level #3 friend to unlock JJ's tragic backstory properly


	4. books and talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Borrowing notes, hoping for more, ignoring things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long - uni happened and life happened and things were weird but now it's summer and I'm back and I'm still very excited about this, I hope you guys are too!

“Hey, I can only stay for part of this class so I was wondering…”

Nope.

“Hey, I have to leave early, could you borrow…”

No.

“Could you let me see your notes next week? I have to leave early today.”

Better. Not enough.

“Isabella, right?”

_No._

“Hi.”

Fuck. JJ groans and leans his forehead against the mirror. He had thought practising what to say to Isabella would be a good idea, but so far it has only made him more anxious. It needs to be perfect – friendly enough, confident enough, charming enough to make it sure that she will want to talk to him again. And also that he will get the notes he desperately needs.

* * *

 

When Monday morning comes, he still hasn’t decided what to say. He walks into the room fiddling with his earphones and sees Isabella sitting almost on the same place she did last week. He sits next to her, leaves one seat in between, and puts the earphones into his bag. He makes a J with his hand inside the bag and takes a deep breath and then finally looks at Isabella.

“Hi”, he says and wants to congratulate himself for sounding so relaxed. Isabella is on her phone, but puts it down and smiles at him as she responds.

“How was your weekend?” JJ asks.

“Oh, nothing special. I studied with some of my friends. What about yours?”

“Studying, too. And Netflix.”

“What did you watch?”

“Eh, Gilmore Girls.”

“It’s one of my favourites!” Isabella says and her whole face lights up. “What season are you on? Or were you rewatching?”

“Only on season three, so no spoilers!”

“You have to watch more, I need more people to talk to about the new season!”

“I’m trying my best”, JJ laughs. “Who’s your favourite?”

“Lorelai.”

“That was quick.”

Isabella giggles quietly. “Well. I do like them all.”

“Me too. I think Rory’s my favourite, though.”

“She’s great. I’m actually doing the Rory Gilmore reading challenge, but it’s gonna take some time”, she sighs.

“So… You’re trying to read every book she reads in the show?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

“Speaking of reading”, JJ says quickly, “or actually not, this has nothing to do with reading, but I have to leave early today and I was wondering if you could let me copy your notes later.”

“Oh. Sure. Do you want me to send them to you or do you want to copy next week?”

“Either’s fine.”

Isabella looks like she’s thinking hard – her lips are a little pouted and her eyebrows get closer to each other. JJ thinks she looks adorable.

“Do you have anything tomorrow at four?” she whispers – the professor has started talking.

“No, why?”

“My lecture got cancelled, so I thought we could go get coffee and you could copy the notes in the meanwhile?”

“That sounds good, thanks!” JJ grins brightly – clearly he hasn’t made a complete fool out of himself. Isabella smiles back and then turns to her notes.

JJ starts gathering his things halfway through the lecture.

“See you next week”, he whispers to Isabella before leaving.

* * *

 

The studio feels familiar, even though he has not been into this one before. The make-up room is same as ever, bright lights, big mirrors, so many different products all over. There’s only five pairs of sunglasses, which surprises him – that’s what he’s promoting this time.

“I’m not putting a lot of stuff on your face this time”, Lisa, the make-up artist explains as she powders his face, “they want it as natural as possible, so polished but no lipstick or eyeliner.”

“Right”, he mumbles with his eyes closed. “What am I wearing?”

“Swimming shorts”, another voice replies. “Maybe a necklace, let’s see. Summery stuff anyway, they’re gonna put you on a beach. Maybe a few pictures with those jeans of yours and that new shirt, open obviously.”

“We could start in five if you’re ready”, Jill, the photographer and also a friend of JJ’s mother, says from the studio door.

“Yeah. Go change, pretty boy”, Lisa says and puts the powder brush on the table. JJ obeys – he throws the clothes he’s wearing into the corner and puts on the red swimming shorts he’s given.

“Is this your first shirtless shoot?” Jill asks once JJ’s in front of a camera. “First that I’m taking at least.”

“Can’t remember”, JJ says, his voice a bit arrogant.

“Keep that face. Good. I was prepared to take more time if this is your first one, but this is good, we won’t need extra time, you look comfortable.”

“Well, I know I’m gorgeous”, he says and winks. Jill rolls her eyes but laughs and continues to take photos, giving some directions in between. When the official part is over, JJ goes to get his phone and buries his toes in the sand. He takes a picture of his feet and puts it on Instagram with only a sunglasses emoji and #justwait #jjstyle as the description. Chris is the first to like it.

* * *

 

He’s going on a date with Isabella tomorrow, he thinks while he sits in the bus on his way home. Or, not a date. But he will see Isabella tomorrow, outside classroom. He will get to talk to Isabella tomorrow. He will get to watch her drink coffee and probably listen to her talk about the lecture, he will get to see her smile.

[JJ to Chris at 15:02] i’m going to get coffee with Isabella tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Chris at 15:14] Nice like a date?

[JJ at 15:15] no just coffee and studying

[Chris at 15:18] Are you excited? ;)

[JJ at 15:20] about studying? no

[Chris at 15:24] About whether you’ll charm her…….

[JJ at 15:25] that should be easy I charmed you

JJ smirks confidently – and realises the bus just took off from his stop. He swears quietly and ignores the answer from Chris to focus on the rout. Fortunately the next stop isn’t far and he manages to get out. It’s gotten windy; the air feels cold even through his leather jacket. He puts his hands into his pockets and walks to the stop he should have gotten off the bus at, to home. The front door isn’t locked, but a blast of wind makes it hard to get it open. He runs the stairs up to the warmth of his own apartment, takes his shoes off and goes lie down on his bed without taking the jacket off. It’s his favourite jacket, he should probably wear it tomorrow. Or will it be stupid since he also had it today? Today he had a red shirt, though, if he wears a different color it might not be so clear. And does it even matter if he wears the same jacket? Does Isabella care? Do normal people care about things like that? He takes his phone out of his pocket, ready to browse Facebook or something, but notices the message from Chris – he had already forgotten about the conversation.

[Chris at 15:27] Well well everyone knows I’m easy

[Chris at 15:28] to impress

[Chris at 15:28] ;)

[JJ at 15:59] :-*

With a sigh he gets up again and grabs a book from the pile on his table. He has an exam in two weeks – maybe he could, for once, start revising on time.

He should also practise what he’s going to say to Isabella tomorrow. Hi or hello? Thank you or thanks? What if he goes all loud and annoying and can’t stop himself from throwing stupid jokes? What if he looks stupid? What if he spills coffee on his clothes? Or Isabella’s notes? What if she doesn’t show up at all?

She did like his Instagram photo, though. Pretty quickly, even. That has to mean something. Right?

Right?

[JJ at 16:35] hey sis

[Charlotta at 16:36] hey bro

JJ stares at his phone, not knowing what to say. He’s not even sure why he texted his little sister – he doesn’t like admitting that a family member who also happens to be 17 years old is the closest thing he has to a best friend. He’s never been good at keeping people liking him. He groans and puts the phone away. It’s not the first time he’s started a conversation with Charlotte without actually starting it – she knows how he is. She also knows that using English means he’s at least kind of trying to keep up the role of a cool, confident, adult big brother.

Charlotta often calls it “JJ’s sunglasses emoji face”. JJ smiles at the memory and opens his book with a sigh. If he reads ten pages now he could watch and episode of Gilmore Girls…

Alright, if he reads eight pages.

Six.

Five.

He can’t read less than five pages, that would just be pitiful.

Altough, even three pages is more than one.

Or nothing at all.

He has read two pages with something close to concentration. He deserves an Instagram break. First thing he sees is Isabella’s photo – a selfie she took with a boy who looks about 15 years old but still manages to look a little like her. Family time, says the caption, and there’s also some Chinese. JJ has no idea what it means despite taking a course in high school. Isabella has a big smile on her face and she’s holding up two fingers behind the head of who JJ assumes is her brother. She looks happy and so, so pretty.

[JJ at 17:58] hé

[Charlotta at 18:04] hé là

[JJ at 18:06] nvm

He reads another page surprisingly easily. The second one feels like cement again, but he manages to get through it after reading every sentence like eleven times. And then, suddenly, he reads five more paged easily, lost in the information, happily learning. He did choose his major for a reason – his brain just has trouble remembering reasons. Sometimes. Until it switches on and only remembers the reasons.

There’s one page left of the ten he was supposed to read when his thoughts travel off to Isabella. He grabs his phone like by reflex.

@charminglotta mentioned you in a comment. The tag is in a photo of a big dog licking a little girl’s face while the girl squeals with joy. JJ smiles and double taps it. Cheering each other up with pictures of animals is their thing – and not just his and Charlotta’s, the whole families.

He stares at the dog and decides to read the one last page.

…and then it’s Gilmore Girls for the rest of the evening. 

* * *

 

“JJ! Here!” Isabella waves from a table by the window right after JJ steps in. He tries his best to smile naturally as he goes to sit on the other side.

“Hi”, he says, “thanks for doing this, I really need those notes…”

“No problem. Should we get something to drink while you copy them?”

“Sure.”

They get up and go to the counter. Isabella orders black tea, JJ his usual coffee.

“So, here they are. Say if you don’t understand something, I sometimes shorten words if I get excited”, Isabella says and gives JJ a notebook.

“Thanks. Your handwriting is really pretty”, he says and blushes. That’s not a normal thing to compliment people on. Or is it? Well, Isabella smiles so it couldn’t have been that bad.

He reads through the notes – detailed, easily readable, not exactly whole sentences but nothing he can’t understand.

“I know all the arrows might be confusing”, Isabella says and sips her tea.

“No, they’re good. I use them too.”

JJ starts writing in his own notebook feeling strangely relaxed. Isabella checks her phone, twirls the spoon in her cup and looks around in the café. She doesn’t seem like she minds just sitting there and waiting.

“Why did you have to leave early?” she asks after a while. “Or. You don’t have to answer.”

“It’s no problem. It was just, eh, work stuff.”

“Right. Where do you work?”

“Kind of a long story?” he offers, relieved she clearly hasn’t recognised him from anywhere.

“I’m not in a hurry”, she laughs. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. I’ve been looking for a part-time job, that’s all, so I was wondering if you’d have any recommendations.”

“Oh, I understand. Can’t help you with that, though.” He stops to think for a moment. “It was a photoshoot”, he then says honestly. “I’ve been modelling for a while.”

“I’m not pretty enough to be a model?” she says, clearly joking, but he turns red anyway.

“No, that’s sorry, I meant, you’re –“ he stutters.

“Relax”, Isabella laughs. “It was a joke. It wouldn’t be my thing. But it’s cool. Have I seen you anywhere?”

“Possibly. Not anywhere big, yet. That might change.”

“Yesterday was a big thing?”

“For a pretty big company”, he says proudly.

“Nice. And it pays the bills, I assume?”

“It does. That’s not why I started, though. It has just kinda… stayed. My mom’s good friend is a photographer, she jokingly took some photos of me when I was seventeen and well, they ended up being good. And it grew. I have clothing line.” He flashes a confident grin, but feels more embarrassed after talking what feels like too much.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Why’d you come to uni at this point, then? You sound like you’re pretty much professional.”

“I am”, he says quickly. Isabella quirks an eyebrow.

“Well. I am. But it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I like learning.”

Isabella smiles warmly. “Good you got those notes then.”

“Yeah, thanks again. I won’t take long”, he says and goes back to writing.

“No need to hurry.”

“What kind of job are you looking for?” JJ asks after a few minutes.

“Anything, really”, Isabella laughs. “Some extra income would be nice. I worked in a little café just outside the town during my first year, I really liked it, but they quit while I was away. And most places only hire people to work for over 20 hours a week when I’d be happy with 10.”

“Why were you away?” Isabella drinks the rest of her tea on one, long sip.

“I’m sorry, if that’s personal you don’t have to…” JJ rushes to say.

“No, no. Long story short, I was in China at my grandparents’.”

“Oh. Cool. Are both of your parents from there?”

“Well. All my grandparents are, but my dad was born here, his parents both moved to Canada in their teens. Mom moved here to study when she was 20, so I was visiting her parents”, she explains like she’s done it a thousand times – and she probably has. JJ mumbles something between “cool” and “okay” and starts writing again. He only has half a page left, so it doesn’t take long until he’s ready.

He slides the notebook back to Isabella. “Thanks, again. There was a lot of important stuff, I would’ve been in trouble without you”, he says extraordinarily honestly. It feels easy, being honest with her.

“No problem. I’m glad I could help, and” – she breaths in like she’s nervous – “it was nice seeing you outside class.”

There is a hurricane made of butterflies in JJ’s stomach. He grins widely. “You too”, he manages to say, somewhat keeping his cool.

They sit there, smiling at each other. It’s Isabella with slightly pink cheeks who finally breaks the eye contact – she takes her phone out of her pocket and frowns at the screen.

“My friend’s asking if I’m in town”, she explains. “I haven’t seen her in ages.”

“Oh, right, I should probably get home anyway”, JJ says. “Thanks for the notes.”

“Again”, Isabella smirks.

“Again.”

“See you in class, then?” JJ asks as they part at the door.

“Of course”, Isabella says, smiles, and walks away.

See you in class, what the hell, JJ thinks the whole way home. What about this was nice, would you like to get coffee – or tea – some other time without studying?

Well. It was her who said it was nice meeting outside class. Maybe he didn’t completely screw up.

* * *

 

The week goes by as JJ waits for Monday – he feels stupid for not asking for Isabella’s number, but it feels as stupid to message her on Instagram, especially when he has nothing to say. He doesn’t hear anything from Chris in a few days, either, but on Friday evening he calls.

“I was too tired to text”, Chris explains as a greeting.

“Moving your fingers sure is hard work”, JJ responds rolling his eyes. He had been planning an essay he was going to dedicate the whole weekend to.

“Maybe I want to save them for something better”, Chris says teasingly and JJ can already feel himself slipping from the plan.

“Benefits time?” he checks.

“Abso-fucking-lutely, if you don’t mind. I’ve been studying the whole week like 24/7 and need to do something… funnier.”

“I should be studying the whole weekend”, JJ mutters rolling his eyes.

“Pleasure before business!” Chris chirps. “Or do you, like, really really really need to study?”

“I never really really really need to study, I’m too cool to be desperate.”

“Sure, boy.”

“It’s king for you, old man.”

“Old man is only an acceptable name when I use it for Victor and also I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Wouldn’t expect any less”, JJ smirks.

“Fuck you”, Chris laughs and hangs up.

 

JJ’s doorbell rings 17 minutes later – not like he’s been counting, it just happened to be on the hour when the call ended and… Yeah.

He still whispers JJ style as he goes to the door.

Chris’ cheeks are red from the cool evening air and his hair looks ruffled, his eyes green as ever. Something warm glints in JJ stomach but he grins confidently trying to ignore it. Chris grins too, tension sparkling between them, but gets in and unties his shoes without even touching him.

“Where’s Victor?” JJ asks, because what else would his stupid non-existent brain-to-mouth-filter make him do. But when Chris responds “With Yuri”, he tries to ignore the edge in his tone as well.

“How was your date on Tuesday?” Chris asks shortly after. The sparkles seem to have faded.

“Wasn’t a date.”

“Aww, and doesn’t that make you sad”, Chris mocks but with playfulness in his voice.

“There’s gonna be a date”, JJ says surely. “Or. There _is_. At some point. I didn’t ask yet. But it was fun and she’s cool and I’m gonna ask”, he rambles, “eh, do you want coffee or tea or something?” he asks to make himself stop.

Chris tilts his head.

“Not really.”

JJ’s not sure if what follows is a kiss or just Chris biting his lower lip, but he melts into it nevertheless.

* * *

 

The world behind his windows is pitch-black once the lay on his bed next to each other, sweaty and warm from toes to heads. They are not touching but close enough to hear each other breathing, somewhere in the space between friends and benefits. JJ almost feels like there’s no one else in the world – but then he remembers Isabella’s voice, _it was nice seeing you outside class_ , and there are other people in the world but strangely that doesn’t break the bubble he and Chris are in.

Chris does. “Alright”, he groans and sits up. “I’m gonna go so your majesty can study”, he says humorously and plants a kiss on JJ’s jaw as he climbs over him.

JJ yawns and pulls the blanket over himself, following as Chris collects his clothes from the dark room – jeans on the floor, shirt on the couch, socks and underwear next to the bed. He hums quietly as he gets dressed and then turns to look at JJ.

“See you”, he says and bows down as if to kiss JJ but only nibbles his earlobe.

“See you”, JJ murmurs, half asleep already. Ignoring doesn’t seem to get any easier, since even through his dream the word _stay_ lingers and lingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome, and you can still find me on tumblr as queen-thirrin. Feel free to ask anything or tell me if you have something you'd like to see in this one. :D
> 
> I promise to upload the next chapter way faster!
> 
> also, i have read 25 of the 339 books from the Rory Gilmore reading challenge and i freaking study literature


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